theyellowbrickroad:

im going to name my kid pregnant so they can be like “hi im pregnant” and everyone will stand there all mortified

landorus:

the older u get the funnier spongebob becomes

bonerfart:

idonotneedthisrightnow:

you are acute coffee pie

you are narrow, scalding and irrational

bonerfart:

idonotneedthisrightnow:

you are acute coffee pie

you are narrow, scalding and irrational

  • me: no one likes me
  • someone: I like you
  • me: thanks
  • me: no one likes me

metaknighty:

today a 4 foot tall freshman in an angry birds t shirt pushed me out of the way because he “has an honors class to get to move peasant”